How to cope with being a new mum during a global pandemic
Becoming a parent can be isolating at any time but
restrictions designed to stop the spread of Covid-19 have made this year even
more challenging.
Many new mums (and dads) have been left without valuable
support networks, unable to meet up with friends and family face-to-face,
attend baby groups or even access practical help with breastfeeding and other
parenting issues.
While some things have been continuing in a virtual way
online, others have been stopped altogether. And not being able to just invite
a friend round for a cup of tea or let your baby socialise with other little
ones the same age has taken its toll on many parents.
Ivana Poku, maternal mental health advocate and author of Motherhood
- The Unspoken, says: “Becoming
a new mum is hard enough at the best of times, so if a new mum has to get to
grips with motherhood in isolation, this creates a lot of added pressure and
can easily lead to mental health issues.”
Share
your worries
According
to Ivana, it’s crucial that new parents talk about how they are feeling and
don’t just try to cope alone. While face-to-face meet-ups may still be
difficult, make time to catch up with people you care about on the phone or
over Zoom or instant messaging.
She
says: “Being a new mum is a huge shock and something that takes time to get used
to so whatever you feel is totally normal and more common than you would have
thought. Choose someone you trust and talk to them about how you feel.
Ideally,
talk to another mum as she will be able to relate and most likely, you
will learn she feels exactly the same.”
Remember
that babies and toddlers do not count towards the limit on people meeting up
outside so two mums can meet up with their little ones during lockdown in an
outdoor space like a park so long as they stay two metres apart. Just taking
some time to get some fresh air and see another person face-to-face may make a
big difference in how you are feeling and help you develop a strong friendship
with someone in a similar situation to you.
Don’t put off seeing your GP
Researchers in Canada found the number of expectant and new
mothers suffering from depression had almost tripled during the coronavirus
pandemic. If you’re pregnant or have a small child and are concerned that you
might be feeling low or anxious, speak to your GP or health visitor.
Although many health professionals are offering fewer
face-to-face appointments, most will still carry out telephone consultations
and will still see you if you are struggling. Surgeries and clinics have strict
procedures in place to prevent the spread of Covid-19 and keep you safe so don’t
delay seeking help due to the pandemic.
PANDAS, a charity which offers support to people with
postnatal depression, has a number of ways you can get support including a
helpline, Facebook group and email support service. Find out more here.
Create an online support network
Talking to other new mums on social media and joining groups
of like-minded people is a great idea at any time but it is especially
important at the moment. There are a number of Facebook groups aimed at parents,
including our own Stylish
Mum group where you can share your triumphs, talk about anything that is
worrying you or just have a giggle. There are also chat forums on websites
aimed at parents where you can talk about pretty much any subject under the
sun.
Keep an eye out for any mum and baby groups which are taking place over Zoom or are planning to start again when the current restrictions are relaxed. Many groups are looking at ways they can operate safely so parents and their little ones can still benefit from them.
Take time for yourself
One of the most important things is that you are kind to
yourself. Get some fresh air, take a bath, practice mindfulness – whatever
works to help you feel calm and relaxed. If you have a partner, ask them to take
your little one out for a walk so you get some time to yourself. If you are a
single parent, consider forming an informal childcare bubble with a friend or
family member so you have someone who can look after your baby and give you a
much-needed break. Don’t worry about imposing – most people really want to help
and you could always form a bubble with another new mum and take it in turns to
support each other.
Remember this too shall pass
Finally, and most importantly, remember that nothing lasts
forever and even the most difficult challenges will one day be over. Your baby
won’t always want to feed every few minutes or wake up throughout the night.
Parenting can be exhausting but every stage is only temporary and remembering
that it will pass can help you find the strength to keep going on tough days. The
pandemic itself will also have an expiration date and the limits and
restrictions on our lives are temporary and won’t last forever.
Make a list of all the things you miss doing and then you
can enjoy ticking them off when things return to some sort of normal. And don’t
forget to keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing by using the
#stylishmumclub tag on your social media posts.
www.stylishmum.co.uk
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